w-hy:

harry & louis - they go first. i take them out in tandem when no one is looking. zialliam will expect them gone and if they woke up in some broom closet they’d probably go back to sleep

liam - if i don’t take him out first, he’ll protect niall or zayn and ill cry too hard to fight. I’ll take him down by whispering ‘if you pretend to get knocked out i won’t hurt ziall’. boom. on the ground two seconds flat. zayn at this point probably whispers ‘sick’

zayn - zayn is in pure amazement. he doesn’t even see it coming. i give him the old one two punch and he’s gone. somehow he lands on top of liam. weird

niall - stress laughing in the corner or something. i start irish step dancing and he starts calming down. i do a high kick and it’s lights out. i leave with my dignity intact